Orthodox prayers for a marriage in trouble

Pray these when the fights in your marriage keep coming back or love has gone cold. Bring the trouble to your priest too.

Picture: Thomas Faed, Faults on Both Sides, 1861

3 prayers and 1 to the saints

When you keep fighting

Prayer to end quarrels

Plain English only: no traditional English wording is given for this prayer

O God, You command usto live of one mind in Your house.

In Your mercy, drive away the causes of our quarrels,so that, with the help we needand by Your gift,we may live in harmony.

Through Jesus Christ our Lord.

This short prayer comes from a Mass for times of strife in an old Roman service book. It asks God to drive away the causes of your quarrels so that you can live in harmony.

Plain English by Wiser Walk, from the Latin of the Old Gelasian book (Wilson’s 1894 edition); there is no traditional English translation. How the wording is made.

Where it comes from, and the Latin

When love has gone cold

Prayer for love grown cold

O Lord our God, in Your mercy, as You are good,look on the ground of our heart.Love has dried up in it,and the thorns of hatred, self-love and countless sinshave grown thick over it.

Let fall on it a drop of the grace of Your All-holy Spirit,and water it richly,so that it may bear fruit.Out of a burning love for You,let it bring forth the fear of You, the root of all virtues,and a tireless care for our neighbour’s salvation.Let every passion be rooted out,and every kind of wickedness, and all hypocrisy.

Earnestly we pray to You, the Giver of all good things:hear us quickly,and in Your love for mankind have mercy.

Master, You gave Your disciplesYour commandment to love one another.By the grace of Your All-holy Spirit,truly renew it in our souls and in our hearts,so that we may never care only for our own good,but always strive to please You,and to care for the salvation and the good of our neighbours.

We pray to You, our merciful Benefactor:hear us and have mercy.

Traditional wording, 1999

O Lord our God, in Thy mercy, as Thou art good,look down upon the ground of our heart in which love has dried up,cruelly overgrown with the thorns of hatred, self-love, and innumerable transgressions.

And as Thou art the Source of all good, fervently we entreat Thee:having released a drop of the grace of Thy Most-holy Spirit,richly bedew it that it may bear fruit,and make it increase, out of burning love for Thee,the root of all virtues—the fear of Thee—as also vigilant solicitude for the salvation of our neighbor,and the uprooting of all passions, evils of various forms, and hypocrisy,and as the Lover of Mankind quickly hearken and have mercy.

O Master Who gavest a new commandment to Thy disciplesthat they should love one another,renew this by the grace of Thy Most-holy Spirit acting in our souls and hearts,that we will never become selfish,but always endeavor to please Theeand strive for the salvation of our neighborand pay close attention to that which is beneficial,we pray Thee, the merciful Giver of all that is good,hearken and mercifully have mercy.

These two petitions come from a Russian service for the increase of love. They ask God to water a heart where love has dried up and to renew His commandment to love one another.

Plain English by Wiser Walk, from the Church Slavonic, with St Tikhon’s Monastery’s English beside it. How the wording is made. Traditional wording: St Tikhon’s Monastery, The Great Book of Needs, Volume III, 1999.

St Tikhon’s prints these petitions for a Divine Liturgy served for the increase of love. Its second petition has “a new commandment”, where the Slavonic printed here has “Your commandment”.

Where it comes from, and the Church Slavonic

After you make up

Prayer for reconciliation

We thank You, O Master, Lover of mankind,King of the ages and Giver of good things.

You tore down the dividing walls of hostilityand gave peace to the human race,and now You have given peaceto Your servants too.

Root the fear of You in them,and make their love for one another firm.Quench every quarrel,and take away all discord and offence.

For You are our Peace,and to You we give glory,to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,now and always, and for ever and ever.Amen.

Traditional wording, 1999

We thank Thee, O Master and Lover of Mankind,King of the ages and Giver of good things,

Who didst destroy the middle wall of enmityand didst grant peace unto the race of man,and Who now hast granted peace unto Thy servants.

Instill in them the fear of Thee,and confirm love for each other.Extinguish every disputeand banish every temptation to disagreement.

For Thou art our Peace,and unto Thee do we send up glory:to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

The priest’s Book of Needs gives this prayer for people who were at odds and have made peace. On the day you make up, you might pray it for the two of you, thanking God for that peace and asking Him to make your love firm.

Plain English by Wiser Walk, from the Church Slavonic, with St Tikhon’s Monastery’s 1999 translation beside it. How the wording is made. Traditional wording: St Tikhon’s Monastery, The Great Book of Needs, Volume III, 1999.

St Tikhon’s has one “middle wall” and “every temptation to disagreement”, where the Slavonic printed here has walls in the plural and “all discords, offences”.

Where it comes from, and the Church Slavonic

To a saint

Prayer to Sts Gurias, Samonas and Habibus

Plain English only: no traditional English wording is given for this prayer

O most glorious martyrs Gurias, Samonas and Habibus!We who are weak and unworthy run to you,as to quick helpers who pray warmly for us,and we pray to you earnestly:do not despise us,who have fallen into many sinsand who sin every day and every hour.

Guide onto the right path those who have gone astray.Heal those who suffer and grieve.Keep us in a pure and chaste life.As you were long ago, so remain nowthe protectors of marriages:make them firm in love and oneness of mind,and deliver them from every evil and every calamity.

Protect all Orthodox Christians, you mighty confessors of the faith,from misfortune, from evil people and from the snares of demons.Guard them from sudden death,and beg the all-good Lordto go on giving great and rich mercy to us, His humble servants.

For we are not worthy to call on the glorious name of our Creatorwith unclean lips,unless you, holy martyrs, plead for us.That is why we run to you,and ask you to stand before the Lord for us.

Deliver us also from famine, flood, fire and the sword,from foreign invasion and from civil war,from deadly plagueand from all that would destroy our souls.

Yes, you who suffered for Christ,by your prayers bring about all that is good and helpful for us,so that we may live this passing life in godlinessand come to an end without shame.Then, through your warm prayers for us,may we be counted worthy to stand with all the saintsat the right hand of God, the righteous Judge,and to glorify Him without ceasing,with the Father and the Holy Spirit, for ever.Amen.

Show the whole prayer

Orthodox Christians turn to these three martyrs of Edessa when a marriage is in trouble. The prayer asks them to go on protecting marriages, keeping each one firm in love and of one mind. It also asks for protection from many other dangers, such as sudden death and war.

Plain English by Wiser Walk, from the Church Slavonic of the Russian prayer books. How the wording is made.

Where it comes from, and the Church Slavonic

Scripture for this

²with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, ³and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2-3 Paul asks for patience and for bearing with one another in love. A marriage under strain needs both, from husband and wife alike.

²⁶“Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger, ²⁷and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:26-27 Paul asks that anger not outlast the day, words that fit a husband and wife who go to bed angry.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1 When the same fight starts again, one gentle answer from either of you can keep it from growing.

⁹Love must be sincere. Detest what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another.

Romans 12:9-10 Where love has grown cold, these verses ask for sincere love and for outdoing one another in showing honour.

⁵Now may the God Who gives endurance and encouragement grant you harmony with one another in Christ Jesus, ⁶so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁷Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring glory to God.

Romans 15:5-7 Paul prays for harmony with one another and asks that we accept one another as Christ accepted us.

Bible text: Berean Standard Bible, public domain.

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