Orthodox prayers for a broken friendship

Prayers for a broken friendship, asking God for peace between you and your friend and for a heart that lets the old hurt go.

Picture: Raffaellino Bottalla, The Meeting of Esau and Jacob, 1636–41

3 prayers

While you seek peace

Prayer before the kiss of peace

God and Master of all,make us worthy of this hour,unworthy as we are,O Lover of mankind,

so that, free from all deceitand all hypocrisy,we may be united with one anotherby the bond of peace and love,and be made firm by the holinessthat comes from knowing You,through Your only Son,our Lord Jesus Christ.

With Him You are blessed,together with Your all-holy,good and life-giving Spirit,now and always, and for ever and ever.Amen.

Traditional wording, 1886

God and Sovereign of all,make us, who are unworthy, worthy of this hour,Lover of mankind;

that being pure from all deceit and all hypocrisy,we may be united with one anotherby the bond of peace and love,being confirmed by the sanctification of Thy divine knowledgethrough Thine only-begotten Son,our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,

with Whom Thou art blessed,together with Thy all-holy, and good, and quickening Spirit,now and ever, and to all eternity. Amen.

In the Liturgy of St James this prayer comes just before the kiss of peace. Pray it for your friend and yourself, that nothing false may stand between you and that God may join you again in peace and love.

Plain English by Wiser Walk, from the Greek, with William Macdonald’s 1886 translation beside it. How the wording is made. Traditional wording: William Macdonald, Ante-Nicene Fathers, vol. 7, 1886.

Macdonald’s Greek text reads “our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ”, where the Greek printed here has “our Lord Jesus Christ”.

Where it comes from, and the Greek

For the friend who hurt you

Prayer of St Dorotheos

Plain English only: no traditional English wording is given for this prayer

With your whole heart, for the one who hurt youO God, help my brother and methrough his prayers.

When you pray for your friend and ask for help through your friend’s prayers, you show love and humility. The monk St Dorotheos of Gaza taught that anger has no power where those two are.

Plain English by Wiser Walk, from the Greek, checked against the Russian translation; no public-domain English translation was found. How the wording is made.

Where it comes from, and the Greek

When you have made peace

Prayer for reconciliation

We thank You, O Master, Lover of mankind,King of the ages and Giver of good things.

You tore down the dividing walls of hostilityand gave peace to the human race,and now You have given peaceto Your servants too.

Root the fear of You in them,and make their love for one another firm.Quench every quarrel,and take away all discord and offence.

For You are our Peace,and to You we give glory,to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,now and always, and for ever and ever.Amen.

Traditional wording, 1999

We thank Thee, O Master and Lover of Mankind,King of the ages and Giver of good things,

Who didst destroy the middle wall of enmityand didst grant peace unto the race of man,and Who now hast granted peace unto Thy servants.

Instill in them the fear of Thee,and confirm love for each other.Extinguish every disputeand banish every temptation to disagreement.

For Thou art our Peace,and unto Thee do we send up glory:to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

The Book of Needs gives the priest this prayer for people who were at enmity. It thanks God for a peace He has already given, so if you pray it at home, keep it for the day you and your friend make up.

Plain English by Wiser Walk, from the Church Slavonic, with St Tikhon’s Monastery’s 1999 translation beside it. How the wording is made. Traditional wording: St Tikhon’s Monastery, The Great Book of Needs, Volume III, 1999.

St Tikhon’s has one “middle wall” and “every temptation to disagreement”, where the Slavonic printed here has walls in the plural and “all discords, offences”.

Where it comes from, and the Church Slavonic

Scripture for this

²³So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:23-24 If you remember at the altar that your friend has something against you, Jesus wants you to go and make peace first.

If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone.

Romans 12:18 Paul asks for peace with everyone “if it is possible on your part”. You can offer peace, though you cannot make your friend accept it.

Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but he who brings it up separates friends.

Proverbs 17:9 Once you have made up, let the old offence rest. Raking it up again is what parts friends.

²I urge Euodia and Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. ³Yes, and I ask you, my true yokefellow, to help these women who have contended at my side for the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life.

Philippians 4:2-3 Paul urges Euodia and Syntyche, two women who had worked beside him, to agree in the Lord, and asks a friend to help them.

Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is useful to me in the ministry.

2 Timothy 4:11 Paul once parted from Barnabas rather than take Mark along. Years later he asks Timothy to bring Mark, because Mark is useful to him.

¹⁵When they had finished eating, Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love Me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he answered, “You know I love You.” Jesus replied, “Feed My lambs.” ¹⁶Jesus asked a second time, “Simon son of John, do you love Me?” “Yes, Lord,” he answered, “You know I love You.” Jesus told him, “Shepherd My sheep.” ¹⁷Jesus asked a third time, “Simon son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was deeply hurt that Jesus had asked him a third time, “Do you love Me?” “Lord, You know all things,” he replied. “You know I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.”

John 21:15-17 After Peter had denied Him three times, the risen Jesus asks him three times whether he loves Him and gives him His sheep to feed.

Bible text: Berean Standard Bible, public domain.

Article · 7 min read How to mend a broken friendship: what the Church Fathers teach How to make peace with a friend after a falling out, from the early Church Fathers and Scripture, and what to do when a friendship cannot be mended. Read

Close to this

All prayers

Quiz What prayer do you need right now? A few honest taps about where you are, and a prayer of the Church for exactly that. 8 questions, about 3 minutes. Start

Suggest a correction