What it means
To hope all things is to refuse to give up on someone. When a person keeps making the same mistake, love does not close the file. It keeps expecting better, and it keeps acting as if better is possible.
This is not wishful thinking. Wishful thinking will not look at the problem. Christian hope looks straight at it and hopes anyway, because it rests on God and not on a person’s track record. Paul writes that “hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts.” He tells one church he is sure “that He Who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”
In daily life, hope looks like praying for the relative who keeps slipping. It looks like telling someone a hard truth and not walking away from them afterward. It looks like leaving a door open for years. Hope does not need to see the change to keep going.
How John Chrysostom read it
When his friend Theodore walked away from the life of prayer he had promised to God and lost hope in himself, John Chrysostom wrote to him and would not give up on him.
“What is, hopes all things? It does not despair, says he, of the beloved, but even though he be worthless, it continues to correct, to provide, to care for him.”
John Chrysostom, Homily 33 on First Corinthians
“For even if you should despair of yourself ten thousand times, I will never despair of you.”
John Chrysostom, To Theodore After His Fall
For Chrysostom, hope is something love does. It keeps correcting, which means it keeps telling the truth. It keeps providing and caring, which means it does not pull back its help or its warmth. Hope that has stopped caring has quietly given up.
He also knew that people rarely change all at once. Of someone slow to come to faith, he said, “neither do thou require all things at once.” When he looked at why Paul wrote these words to the church at Corinth, he said this line was for “the despairing”. That may be the person you love. It may be you.
What it looks like
- Someone in your family keeps making the same bad choices with money, and you stay close and honest instead of writing them off.
- Someone close slips up again while trying to quit, and you ask what set it off and how you can help.
- You keep praying for a relative who wants nothing to do with faith, and you still save them a seat at every family dinner.
- You tell a friend the truth about a habit that is hurting them, and you are still there the week after.
What missing it looks like
- “People don’t change. I’ve seen this movie before.”
- “I’ve said all I can say. It’s up to them now.”
- “I stopped expecting anything from them years ago.”
- “I’m just protecting myself from getting let down again.”
Learn from Monica
The mother who would not stop praying.
For years she wept and prayed for her son Augustine. A bishop told her, “it is not possible that the son of these tears should perish.” She lived to see him baptized. Augustine, Confessions, Book 3
Keep praying for the one you can’t reach, and keep the door open.
Read about MonicaOne step to try
Don’t write off someone who is struggling.
Chrysostom to a friend who had fallen: “For even if you should despair of yourself ten thousand times, I will never despair of you.” John Chrysostom
Questions and answers
What does it mean that love “hopes all things”?
It means love does not give up on people. It keeps expecting good from them, and it keeps caring, correcting and praying while it waits. It is not wishful thinking, and it does not pretend a problem isn’t there. It rests on God, Who does not give up on people either. As John Chrysostom put it, “God entreats us every day, and we do not hear; and yet He does not cease entreating.”
How do you keep hoping for someone who keeps hurting you?
Put your hope in God rather than in their progress, and keep yourself safe. Love never asks anyone to stay where they are being harmed. You can hope for someone from a distance, and pray for them by name. Paul gives the rule for that kind of distance: “do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.”
Is hope the same as optimism?
Not quite. Optimism is a guess that things will turn out fine. Christian hope can admit that things may get worse, and still expect God to be faithful. Paul says “hope that is seen is no hope at all.” Hope is what love does when it cannot see the change yet.
